Chapter 12: Conclusion

The Pursuit of an Unknown God: From Religious Service to True Knowledge

From an early age, I was deeply religious, dreaming of becoming a Catholic priest—an ambition shared by my father, who saw in me the fulfillment of his own vow that a son would serve God. Though his youthful seminary path was cut short by illness (a fortunate event, or I wouldn’t exist, he would jest), he believed his promise would be kept through me. Yet when I was ordained, it was into a ministry outside Catholicism, a path that initially disappointed him. Only later did I suggest that perhaps it was God’s promise of a priest from his household, rather than his specific vow to God regarding a Catholic priest, that was fulfilled.

My first twenty-five years in Rwanda, a decade in England, and my eventual settling in Canada were all centered around church life. However, my heart was given to religion and service, not to knowing God Himself. Like Israel at Sinai, who told Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die” (Ex. 20:19), I was often satisfied with proximity to His work but not His immediate presence; He remained, in many ways, an UNKNOWN GOD to me (Acts 17:23).

Oh Divine Unity, why did I not encounter You then, or meet a preacher who could lead me to You as my very great reward (Gen. 15:1)? “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Tim. 6:6), yet how can one be content without life’s perceived necessities, especially when faced with harsh realities like those in my village? We needed a different hunger—a stronger desire for the One who has “food to eat that you know nothing about” (John 4:32), and prophets who knew “the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Phil. 4:12). Materialism, however, easily dethrones God, the only One worthy of our ultimate pursuit.’[[

I left physical poverty in Rwanda only to find spiritual poverty in the West. My village lacked material goods but thrived on community and corporate prayer within the church. In England I found these sorely missing. Prayer and fellowship are vital weapons against spiritual apathy, warming the heart and fostering accountability (Heb. 10:24–25). Yet, as my desire to serve God intensified, so did my servitude to sin. I was trapped like the man in Romans 7, “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out” (v. 18b), unable to reach the freedom of Romans 8. I immersed myself in the charismatic movement, seeking signs and wonders, but none could teach me the deep, transformative knowledge of God that leads to true freedom from sin’s dominion. For, as Genesis 17:1 implies, we can only walk blamelessly when we walk before God, consciously in His presence. A soul beholding God, truly seeing Him by faith, is set on fire with love for Him; sin, like flies on hot, well-cooked meat, finds no place to easily land or nest.

Hear me, Western believers: The God of the Bible is found not just in individualistic pursuits but in vibrant, authentic community (the church, the body of Christ). The church must desire, above all, to know and love Him as revealed in Scripture. From this primary love for God flows genuine love for our neighbor (Matt. 22:37–39); otherwise, we risk worshiping a god of our own making, a projection of our culture or desires. God’s nature is supremely different, holy, and transcendent, yet He chooses to dwell with us (Isa. 57:15), uncontained by us, yet containing all things (Acts 17:28).

Let us not settle for knowing about Him or mere religious service. Let us pursue Him until He is unknown no longer, but intimately known and deeply loved.

Discussion Questions for Conclusion

1. I described my early religious life as being “given to religion and service, not to knowing God Himself.” What is the difference, and how can one be involved in religious activities without truly knowing God?

1. Reflecting on my journey from physical poverty with spiritual community to material provision with spiritual apathy, what does this suggest about the true needs of the human soul and the role of community in knowing God?

1. I concluded, “Let us pursue Him until He is unknown no longer.” What is one practical step you will take as a result of reading this book (or this summary) to pursue a deeper, more transformative knowledge of God?

FINAL PRAYER

Heavenly Father, can finite minds truly grasp Your infinite unity and majesty? Let Your Spirit lead us into all truth (John 16:13), enriching Your church with deep, personal revelations of who You are. May this intimate knowledge set the church ablaze with pure love, severing attachments to lesser loves and worldly entanglements. My own mind is often weak, my heart frail, my will sometimes bound by old patterns. Light from above, Your divine illumination must fix my gaze on You. Like Paul, my cry is “I want to know Christ” (Phil. 3:10).

The greatest hindrance to divine knowledge is often not a lack of intellect but the stubbornness of pride, which blinds the soul to Your truth. For “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble” (James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5). Humility was God’s way to man in the incarnation of Christ (Phil. 2:5–8), and it is man’s only way to God. To truly know You, we must surrender our self-made wisdom, our preconceived notions, and embrace the childlike humility that draws us near to Your heart.

May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all (2 Cor. 13:14). May you be rooted and established in love, able to grasp with all the Lord’s holy people how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, seeking His face continually (Eph. 3:17–19; Ps. 27:8). For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known (1 Cor. 13:12). Until then, let our prayer be: “Show me your glory” (Ex. 33:18). And let the cry of our hearts echo David’s: “One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple” (Ps. 27:4). Amen.